We Need LESS Classroom Management! Tip #2 Identify the Replacement Feeling

Tip #1 was all about 𝗔𝘀𝗸 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗥𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗤𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 . . . replacing a Why question with a What question. Instead of Why are you . . .? we ask What is making you go FAST? This guides students to thoughts about whether they’re experiencing fear, anxiety, stress, or threat.

As we move from 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 to 𝗯𝗲𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗶𝗼𝗿 𝗱𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹𝗼𝗽𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁, this is a solid first step on the path to developing student awareness and self-regulation.

 

𝗧𝗶𝗽 #𝟮 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗳𝘆 𝗮 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗴𝘂𝗶𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗳𝘁.

 

𝗜𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗳𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴. As we help the student identify the replacement feeling, we can ask What feeling would you rather be experiencing? This develops their 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗮𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀, a critical element of their social and emotional development.

 

You’ll remember the example from Tip #1 that a student spoke unkindly to another student because they felt threatened. This is an unwanted feeling, and we help them choose a wanted feeling.

 

For example, when asked 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦? the student may say they want to feel safe or valued. We're now shifting their focus from threatened to safe as we help them develop their awareness.

 

Now we ask 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦? Or in this example, we ask 𝘍𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘴𝘢𝘧𝘦, 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯?

 

As the student considers their next steps, they’re beginning to develop 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗿𝗲𝗴𝘂𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻. It’s likely that some students may not know how to move forward. They are either still fired up or simply have not learned to think about their feelings and actions. Offering them a prompt is useful: 𝘛𝘰 𝘢𝘷𝘰𝘪𝘥 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 . . . (𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘱). If the student looks stuck, offer options for their next steps. Here’s an example of what it might sound like:

 

𝘐𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘥, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘢𝘺, ‘𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘺.’ 𝘖𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘥𝘰 𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘩. 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘯𝘦𝘹𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘱 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦?

𝘐 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺.

𝘖𝘬𝘢𝘺, 𝘴𝘰 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘴𝘢𝘧𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘴 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯, 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘭𝘭 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘬 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺, 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘴𝘢𝘧𝘦. 𝘎𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦.

 

Let’s review Tip #2. Once the student has identified their feeling, we guide them toward identifying a replacement feeling and defining what steps they can take to achieve that feeling.

 

 

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